Rogues Review: Bahrain 2008: We won't mention videos...

With a slight delay due to some temporary relocation of the F1Rogues team to the island the now call the UK to be soon renamed The United Kingdom of Hamilton we being out review of the last race…

Well, I promised when I restarted all this that I would never review what did not happen during the race. Therefore I will not be at all mentioning anything alleged about sex games, grey haired men and prison service. Suffice to say that we can replace any temptation to do that by laughing continuously at Hamilton and his feeble attempts to overtake Spanish ex-teammates.

The race itself promised much but on the whole failed to deliver. We had placed all our money on a Ferrari 1-2 to the gravel trap at the first corner skillfully aided by a shove from a BMW. It seemed inevitable that Kubica would lose his pole position at the getaway so he should have made sure he got it back… Senna style.

To say the race was without incident would not be true. There was plenty of action on the track with both Sutil and Vettel both suffering from engine issues, Piquet having handling issues which resulted in a spin or two, as well as Buttons somewhat clumsy overtaking maneuver on David Coulthard. Both Button and Hamilton proved that when you have a point to prove, you can make it best by running into another car – yes the car is crap and no I don’t know how to overtake. Ultimately this cost both drivers their races. Button had an early bath and Hamilton just struggled to do anything of any note. Unless the fact that we all noted he did nothing worthwhile in the whole race, then, well, he did something note worthy…..

What's hot and what's not in the race

Blind? No room Which way do I drive? Back on track Polish invasion Hamilton Button Piquet Massa Kubica Hard to miss these Renaults Ram braking works better Handling issues? Stolen on the first lap New world order starts NOW!

Posted by Jules at April 9, 2008, 3:38 pm - Comments (0)
Tagged as: alonso, coulthard, vettel, massa, button, kubica, bahrain, 2008, hamilton, movie, video, mosley, max, f1, formula1, formula one

Rogues Review: Australia 2008: Term starts!

Ah the first day back at term has been completed. And as predicted here at F1Rogues there was much mayhem.

Without traction control it was always going to be an interesting race. The first lap proved that drivers can’t keep control of themselves net alone themselves and their wheel spin. At the first corner Fisichella ended up the victim and Massa proved that spinning whilst there is a crash at the same corner is a good way of not looking too much like an idiot, at least until the replays are shown. Within the lap the Safety Car was out for the first of many trips, with many drivers diving for the pits to put back on parts of the car that should be attached rather than hanging off the side.

Massa, not satisfied with his first lap spin, tried to make up for lost ground. Trying to unlap himself on lap 26 Masses harpooned Coulthard. The new result was that Red Bull Racing was now completely out of the race after local hero Webber retired shortly after the race began. Unlapping yourself is allowed in F1, and quite frankly was bound to happen when it’s Ferrari versus Red Bull Racing. Eddie Irvine once unlapped himself by passing Senna. Whilst there was no collision Senna was so incensed about this, he took it upon himself to confront the Irishman after the race "knocking" him off a table in the process. Coulthard did make his voice known, slamming Massa for ramming into him. Massa received damage from the collision and retired a few laps later with engine problems.

The race went a bit "quiet" after Massa’s little incident until Glock discovered exactly what everyone meant about the dangers at turn 12. It had been mentioned that the exit of turn 12 represented a bit of a danger. A small bump on the grass on the exit could cause a car to get air. Glock discovered this was true and very almost managed to put himself upside down. In the end, he span gracefully up the track coming to a halt against the wall. He came to rest missing some major parts and quietly shitting himself. It was in the subsequent Safety Car period that Barrichello showed that if you are going to mess up, you better mess up good. With no fuel left the team were forced to make the Brazilian pit. However, once the Safety Car comes out the pit lane closes. This is so the track officials can get some order on the track before all the fun begins again. It was during this illegal refuelling stop that his lollipop man got a little excited. Lifting it before fuelling was complete caused the fuelling crew to be dragged over the car. Rightly Barrichello did not stop and went on his way leaving a big heap of arms, legs and flammable liquid on the floor. Now, in case you are not aware, the pits have a traffic light at the end. Two colours are on it, red and green. Barrichello is, apparently, colourblind. He left the pits when the light was red, thus making it a hatrick of stupidity. Barrichello, for all the woes and injuries he got disqualified from the race - for the red light - and handed a 10 second stop-and-go penalty during the race - for pitting during the Safety Car. He got nothing for running over the pit crew... one will expect a kicking from the pit crew in the team garage is almost guaranteed. All this makes Barrichello our man of the race. We look forward to next race where we hope to get a black flag. The only way is up!

Before the pace car had even gone back to the pits, we were treated to yet another display of genius. Nakajima, who managed to run down his pit crew in the previous race, now managed to hit - whilst following the pace car - the high qualifying Kubica. F1Rogues predicted this would happen sometime during this race and Nakajima supplied. Kubica went out of the race; Nakajima got a new nose and a 10 place qualification penalty for Malaysia for the pleasure.

For the rest the race continued without real incident, the only tragic thing being Bourdais’ engine blow whilst running 4th in his first race - in a Minardi. We expect great things from this man.

What's hot and what's not in the race

Man of the year (so far) As predicted Denied Turn around? Looked easy Barrichello Nakajima Bourdais Heidfeld Hamilton CTL+ALT+DEL reset year Not so Safety Car.. "F**k?!?!?!?" Good start to the year Led the whole way

Posted by Jules at March 17, 2008, 8:42 pm - Comments (0)
Tagged as: formula one, formula1, f1, 2008, australia, barrichello, hamilton, bourdais, nakajima, coulthard, heidfeld

Rogue Review, China 2007: To the wire...

All in Scotland can breathe a sigh of relief tonight. They’ve been holding it since 1995 when DC managed to under steer off the pit lane when the world was watching that exact bit of track. DC is now no longer the only person to have done this in recent history!

Humiliation is rarely this good. In DC’s defense he had tyres with grip. In fact he had tyres with rubber on which, as any half baked racing driver knows, is more than a little essential. McLaren has said that it was their fault that he retired from the race as they should have brought him in a lap earlier. But then again, going slower was Hamilton’s responsibility so you can take the fire for it but it still is not the teams fault.

Trying to repeat his German experience Hamilton wanted a push. Chinese marshals gave it a go but failing support from the recently commissioned Team McLaren Chinook heavy lifting helicopter it was a not so long walk back to the pits. Hell, if you are going to retire from your first GP make sure it’s not a long way from the pits. Tales of drivers getting lost on the infield at Hockenheim are a legend in itself. In fact, one 1970s driver was recently found living a bear like existence, surviving solely on nuts and berries. He’d been competing in the 1974 German GP when his car broke down on the dreaded “far side of the circuit”. The bit of track where there are no spectators except chipmonks…

Hamilton’s failings aside we have to pay homage to a very special driver. Ralf Schumacher. No one, repeat no one spins like this guy does. And no one, repeat no one manages to blame other people like this guy does. His incident with Liuzzi, in Ralf’s eyes, was Luizzi hitting him. We, with instant video replay could see that Ralf turned into early… again. Mind you he did a fair share of turning it too late in this race so it all balances out in the end.

What's hot and what's not in the race

Job center? Kamikaze Kitty litter Sweet revenge Burn from the stern Schumacher Sutil Hamilton Alonso Räikkönen Give up, while you're still young! Damn missed the camera man... DC's mum will be proud Mwhahahahah! Taking candy from a baby

Posted by Jules at October 7, 2007, 10:41 pm - Comments (0)
Tagged as: formula one, formula1, f1, 2007, china, schumacher, hamilton, alonso, coulthard

McRae helmet of Coulthard

F1Pits.net has photos of Coulthard's new tribute helmet and we thought we would share this with you too. It looks, in our opinion, awsome. Find more pictures of this helmet in the F1Pits article

Thanks to Dennis who pointed this out to us.

Posted by Jules at September 27, 2007, 3:33 pm - Comments (0)
Tagged as: helmet, mcrae, coulthard, f1, formula1, formula one