Rogues Review: Bahrain 2008: We won't mention videos...

With a slight delay due to some temporary relocation of the F1Rogues team to the island the now call the UK to be soon renamed The United Kingdom of Hamilton we being out review of the last race…

Well, I promised when I restarted all this that I would never review what did not happen during the race. Therefore I will not be at all mentioning anything alleged about sex games, grey haired men and prison service. Suffice to say that we can replace any temptation to do that by laughing continuously at Hamilton and his feeble attempts to overtake Spanish ex-teammates.

The race itself promised much but on the whole failed to deliver. We had placed all our money on a Ferrari 1-2 to the gravel trap at the first corner skillfully aided by a shove from a BMW. It seemed inevitable that Kubica would lose his pole position at the getaway so he should have made sure he got it back… Senna style.

To say the race was without incident would not be true. There was plenty of action on the track with both Sutil and Vettel both suffering from engine issues, Piquet having handling issues which resulted in a spin or two, as well as Buttons somewhat clumsy overtaking maneuver on David Coulthard. Both Button and Hamilton proved that when you have a point to prove, you can make it best by running into another car – yes the car is crap and no I don’t know how to overtake. Ultimately this cost both drivers their races. Button had an early bath and Hamilton just struggled to do anything of any note. Unless the fact that we all noted he did nothing worthwhile in the whole race, then, well, he did something note worthy…..

What's hot and what's not in the race

Blind? No room Which way do I drive? Back on track Polish invasion Hamilton Button Piquet Massa Kubica Hard to miss these Renaults Ram braking works better Handling issues? Stolen on the first lap New world order starts NOW!

Posted by Jules at April 9, 2008, 3:38 pm - Comments (0)
Tagged as: alonso, coulthard, vettel, massa, button, kubica, bahrain, 2008, hamilton, movie, video, mosley, max, f1, formula1, formula one

Rogue Prediction, Bahrain 2008

Well, after all the shenanigans of the last week the Lemmy does an Anne Summers party that is the F1 circus come to Bahrain where it tries desperately to put a brave face on, clench its teeth and say a terse "thank-you sir, may I have another" after every stinging blow.

Massa and Raikonenenenen after free practice get caught in a dubious set-up position (found on page 65 of the special FIA guidebook) and spend the rest of the weekend smarting as their initial enthusiasm turns to agony leading to excessive bottoming-out and get badly bruised leading to a poor finish. The McLaren duo feel vindicated in their clear understanding of the safety word car and use this to their advantage before things get out of hand late in the race eading them to both be on top at the flag to gasps of astonishment from the crowd. Honda continue to push hard feeling that they can further penetrate the upper reaches of the grid with only minor complaining allowing a late frenzy on lap 45 and a surprise finish of 4th and 6th. Groans all round at the BMW camp as both drivers moan about the slippery conditions and low traction exacerbated by a poor rubber choice as the team manager attempts to whip up support amongst the mechanics with perhaps a little too much enthusiasm leading to general complaints and obviously lacking a gentle touch with subordinates. Force India draft in an expert in such matters and proove their Tantric-like endurance and general flexibly to a get 8th place points finish for Fisi. Further suspension stiffness worries abound at RedBull as they continue to find themselves unable to go the whole distance despite spanking a…oh sorry...a spanking new rear end. The Torro Rosso team complain after being unduly slapped about in an incident at turn 1 by another car attempting unexpectedly to (over)take them roughly from the rear of the grid, allowing one of the Super Aguri’s in a dramatic maneuver, tightly zipped into tenth place, the driver masked by...

er...think I'd better stop there eh?

1. Hamilton,
2. Kovi,
3. Raikonenenenenenenenenen (  I've got some "special magazines" if you need any more ideas, no? Ok then can I use the "outfit" once your done with it? No, please clean it first...)

Posted by Jules at April 9, 2008, 10:00 am - Comments (0)
Tagged as: formula one, formula1, f1, 2008, bahrain, joke